First time

20th June 2013

The first time I saw Neeraja ( my wife ) go through a sonography ( rather, this was the first time I was allowed to watch it.. :) ).
The first time I saw my kiddo..
The first time I ever saw those tiny weeny hands.. one clenched in a fist, and the other held open as if telling us not to worry..
The first time I saw that tiny little heart beating at 127bpm, as if racing against our's, beating equally fast with the sheer excitement..

The first time I felt something that was un-expressable, yet so pure.
That exhilarating feeling of a new life taking form.. phew..
I am short of words and breath as I try to put down whatever that I am feeling right now.

Excitement. Happiness. Fear. Tension.
Its all there. A perfect blend. With all the ingredients well mixed in right amounts - like a perfect cocktail !
A perfect cocktail that'll give you a high that no drug/ alcohol can ever give you in your entire life, they tell me. Yeah, every single father - ones my age and the oldies as well. I am hard to convince usually, but this ! I take their word for it. I do.

November its going to be..
Cheerio !

transition..

7th April.. day that changed my life.
The day when all my beliefs came true to their colours.
That one stroke of fate or i dunno what i should call it, but it surely struck that day. I dont believe in the conventional 'God', but i do believe in presence of some superior power that sometimes makes its presence felt - and it made itself pretty clear that day.. :)

Then on, its been a journey - precisely 122 days into it, and loving every part of it ! Hasnt been challenging till now, but i expect a lot o' them later on - have a lifelong to face them.. why worry from now ? ;)
But a lot of changes : some deliberate, some just automatic : i'd describe the whole process as a mere transition  - into a fuller life has begun.
Hell yeah.. :D

I look through that window, a little foggy and unclear..
not bothered to clean it up for some unknown fear.
I can see for what I've waited so far,
in the loneliest of nights, hoping for that one wishing star...

2nd April 2011 - an evening i would never forget.

never thought i would write about cricket. Just cos I am not a sports person - I dont follow cricket at all. Heck i didn't even know what Leg side / Off side was, until it was cleared up by a good friend over a coupla beers while watching the India vs. South Africa match. :P
but its all because of cricket, that i would never forget tonight. EVER.
India won the world cup tonight. and for some reason, watching Harbhajan cry his heart out brought tears to my eyes as well.
What a game ! I mean, WHAT A GAME ! Losing out Sehwag in 1st over and then losing Sachin in first few over - and then the fight back.

What an example of good captaincy by simply following instincts ! I sincerely bow to you Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni. This is what I would expect of a captain of a national team - may it be any sport. No trace of any ego-pampering or point-proving. Just plain desire to win it for a person who has been the back-bone of the the team ( not just in performance, but in morale as well ! ) : very well planned/ executed and played ! Hat's off !!

Change..

Too much that you want to change in me,
colour me as you wish, mold me the way you want me to be.
Take my word - it wont stick, will all wash out,
drop by drop, down the drain without a doubt..

wish I could change your point of view,
force those notions aside n try be in my shoes..
make you stand in for me, take it on like I do,
feel first-hand 'me' you never knew..

forcing you to swap places,

But no.. i wont do that.
'cos in futile effort to make you understand,
blindly I just might don your hat !


i shall let it pass, leaving with you no choice,
as you cant just ignore me, for whatever i've got..
i wont change, and you got nothing..
but to love me or hate me, for everythin' that i'm not.

The wind blows..

The wind blows..

Over the harsh times - reminding how I fought them out..
and over the good ones.. yet not letting me bask in the warmth..

Bringin back memories - good and bad, but drifts them away..
Not letting them linger too long, reminding me to just move on ahead..

They say its part of life - the crests and troughs, highs and lows..
easy to say, but hard it gets when you gotta face the blows..

Leaving behind the rough road that was traveled upon,
blowing the dust off my face, pushing me to just tread on..

As the blast of the air tries to overpower my will,
unaware that i am prepared for the climb uphill..

I keep walking, my goal in my sight..
the wind still blows, with all its might..

I wonder..

I wonder who'd come along with me..To explore this life into its depth,
'the perfect one' - I wonder who 'the one' will be..
As eager and anxious as I am, to take that leap of faith.. :)

ख़ामोशी..

सुनसानसी इस रात मे, हम आवाज अपनी ढुंढते है,
सन्नाटे तो भरे पड़े है हर जगह, हम अपने अन्दरकी ख़ामोशी से डरते है !